Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
