So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Never joke about your clitoris.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
