i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
