if you like me you must not know who I am
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Enjoy the penises
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
