jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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