Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize