so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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