Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
