if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
