I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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