I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
