Just fell off a train. Bad.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
