she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
