I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
