ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
