dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
