And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
