Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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