Screwed.edu
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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