I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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