i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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