The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
