You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
