He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
