you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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