Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize