im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
