I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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