Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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