you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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