forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
