You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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