i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
