how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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