big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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