It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't notice because vodka
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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