Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
