Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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