home. puking in laundry basket.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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