listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
