now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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