The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
