glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
