Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
