it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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