KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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