Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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