apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
