addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
