bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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