So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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