Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
