my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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