Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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