Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
