So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize