I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
