There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
