??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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