I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
