I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
