I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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